Deputy Barney Tiefe, sex symbol

Today is about the Barneys. Not the Benjamins, the Benedicts or the Bradleys. The Barneys.

Lucky for you and all the world that Barney the Purple Hallucinative Extinction doesn’t wear ties, or else I’d have to put him on here. But we do have a BWT (Barney With Tie) in our midst…Barney Fife, aka Don Knotts, Mayberry’s (2nd) finest. Which begs the (tied up in) Knotts question: did Mr. Furley wear ties on “Three’s Company”? Nah, that looks like a scarf to me. And a toupée.

So, we’re sticking with the Barney theme, and, thankfully, bumping up the style notch about twenty-fold as we get into the Tie du Jour. Wow, this is Tie No. 198…No. 200 will be here on Friday. I’d best prepare.

Anyway, back to bumping up the Barney scale. My TdJ, a stunning rust-colored strip with orange and blue flowers, is from the work table of H. Huntsman & Sons Ltd. Sold at Barneys New York originally, I picked up this beauty at the Wings Resale Shop in Niles, and I’m fairly certain that I purchased it at a discount.

The fact that I found such a great tie–nice brand and in perfect shape–leads me to believe that I should start some sort of tie exchange. There are so many guys out there who have mentioned that they have a bunch of fantastic ties that they never wear any more. While it’s great to get one new tie, getting 5 new ones (new to you, at least) is even better. Those new ties would make a bunch of your shirts look better, and you could make them last just 5 days, or a few weeks.

What I’ll do is try to get people to send ties to me. We’ll assign points to them, based on label, condition and general style level, and I’ll send different ones back. Oh, it’ll be more organized than that…there’ll be a website, with pictures and the like, and you can choose 1 or 2 ties that you want shipped back to you (the other 3 will be chosen randomly). Not sure how I’ll get you to pay for the shipping, but we’ll work it out. It’s on the brain, loyal readers…on the brain. Can’t spell ‘resolution’ without T-I-E, right?

Well, gosh-damnit, thanks to Jenny, a very observant observer, I apparently missed a couple of BWTs.

We have Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser, MD. Rethrust into fame as the womanizing Barney Stinson on the TV show How I Met Your Mother, NPH is looking suavé as evér.

Then we have the slightly more non-fictional Barney Frank, U.S. House Representative from Massachusetts’s (yeah, like that word needs another syllable) 87th congressional district. Actually, it’s the 4th District, I just wanted to throw some fiction in there. What is not fictional is that his collar looks like shit.

From non-fiction, we go to animated. Barney Gumble, the drunk (well, drunker than Homer) from Mo’s on The Simpsons. He usually doesn’t wear a tie, but I believe this rendering of him has a pink one on. Unless that’s his tongue. But it’s not. Good thing Mo is sporting a tie, too.

And then we stick to the animated genre, with a BW/OT (Barney Without Tie). However, he hangs out often with his best friend, who does wear a tie (or maybe it’s a foulard) while they are getting into prehistoric adventures.

Thanks for reading…Brooke

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