100 Days, 100 Ties

Well, after receiving a couple of Christmas ties in the mail from my friend Dan Murrell, I figured out that I needed to start wearing my Christmas ties, warts and all. Speaking of Dan, he has become quite the contributor. He gave me the idea for another subject tie pun (I’m sure you’ll all be thanking him for that), and he also submitted this comic from Randy Glasbergen, which has a lot to do about ties. And, it could definitely be associated with Christmas ties in particular, as some of them run pretty high on the ugly scale (although not as bad as the Christmas sweater category).

Ho ho ho #1

My Tie du Jour is, fittingly, also a gift. A few months ago, my oldest friend Collyn, sent me three ties that she had picked up at the Nashville flea market. I wore one and saved the other two, seeing as they were Christmas ties. And voila, the first one is from the Fraser Thomson collection at Dillard’s (a department store chain, mainly in the south). It depicts a sack-toting Saint Nick, all full of mischief and, most likely, cookies. There will be more Saint Nicks…

My friend Chip Crain got back on the photography bandwagon, and submitted his next holiday strip. We’re gonna need a closeup for this one. Even though I was slightly off with my nomenclature for last week’s deer tie (it was an elk, which is technically a deer, but still), I will go out on a limb and aver that this is a reindeer tie. I can’t tell if it’s Rudolph, but I’m quite certain that it is indeed a reindeer (Rangifer tarandus).

Sometimes I get numerical, and I realized that the 14th could actually be construed as the 1st of the 12 Days of Christmas. It reminded me of something I penned a few years back, so I went into the old archives (storage disk for my computer) and will whip this at you. And, lo, I am a cynical bastard.

Enjoy. Thanks for reading…Brooke

The Twelve Days of Christmas Gift Returns

Put a stick in your twelve drummers; I’m tone deaf, anyway;

And who needs eleven pipers, what with union scale today?

I proclaim that your ten coddled lords can go take a flying leap;

And tell your nine live ladies I’ve seen better dancing sheep.

Please inform your eight maids it’s just soy milk for me;

And, for all I care, your seven swans can just swim on out to sea.

Cage up your six honking geese with their egg-laying mess;

And melt down your five precious rings (I’ll keep the gold, I guess).

I’m afraid that your four phony birds aren’t in my calling plan;

And I won’t mind if your three hens get french-fried in a pan.

If I hunt down your two lovey doves,they’ll need a turtle shell,

And I’ll pick off the partridge, too; the pear tree we can sell.

What I’m trying to let you know, my dear, as you make out your list,

Just stick with toys for girls and boys, or else we’ll be quite pis…upset.

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